glitter

Tonight I went to the football game. I was alone at the beginning and I was just standing along the fence, looking out at the field and I just started thinking about my Pa. I really really miss him. It's been 3 1/2 months and I think I've just now started realizing that he'll never ever be here again. But what leads back to the "standing by the fence alone" thing, is that when I was on the field doing the field show, I'd always see him. Just standing there, alone, but with a big smile on his face and his Magnolia hat and jacket. It makes me sad that he'll never be able to watch another Magnolia football or another band performance. I get really mad at myself because I rarely went and talked to him at the games. I mean, of course I couldn't because I was either on the stands or marching, but I could have talked to him during 3rd quarter. I mean, this is what people do when they lose someone close to them, right? They think, "why didn't I visit more," but really, if they were still alive you never would have realized that you weren't visiting them in the first place. The thought is just making me sad about it. I'm gonna go watch some TV then sleep. I have a big surprise for Seany tomorrow.